The Cake Is A Lie

The fine folks at Valve launched their Steam for Mac client today.  Stupendous.  Even better, however, is that as a promotion for the launch of the new client they are giving away Portal for free.  To everyone.  Yes, even those of you running Windows!

Portal, which won a muckity-muck's worth of Game of the Year awards is perhaps the most innovative computer game the world has seen since Tetris.  If you have never played it, you are missing out on the most culturally and artistically significant six hours of playtime mankind has yet created, and you owe it to yourself and those who have to put up with you to go and download it immediately.  Because it's free for 12 days.   And because you really won't get the title of my post until you do.  And that will drive you nuts, right?

Even those of you who don't "play video games"—which these days is akin to saying you don't "watch movies" or "read books"—should give this one a shot.  This is not the game that you think that you won't like.  There is nothing gory.  You will never be asked to shoot anyone (though it's highly likely that something will take a shot at you) and you do not have to wield a sword or other blunt instruments.  You do not have to collect ten carapaces for the blind man in the hut at the end of the valley.  All you have to do is be willing to solve the puzzles that an artificial intelligence sets for you.  And tolerate said artificial intelligence mocking you for your inevitable failures.  It's decidedly the most fun you can have while being frustrated enough to throw your computer through the nearest window.  Portal is a delightful romp through recreational and extremely theoretical physics—and a computer that gives HAL 9000 a run for the title of "Most Sociopathic AI".

So if you enjoy puzzles, good storytelling, homicidal computers, and cake you had better get to downloading.

Honestly.  If you don't download the game you'll never get the cake.