Thanksgiving After Action Report

I had an excellent Thanksgiving, complete with every possible version of every traditional dish ever served.  I even managed to contribute to the overeating a bit myself with a Southwestern dutch-oven cornbread.  It was a long, enjoyable day of eating, drinking, fighting off involuntary sleep, and more eating.  Here are a few Thanksgiving truisms that are lessons worth sharing:

• The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is designed to make the older folks feel old and the younger folks ashamed of their generation's music.
• When you put a whole bunch of people in a car that usually only has one occupant, you will discover items that you didn't know you had lost.
• Dinner will be served just moments after you've realized you're already full from eating appetizers.
• Relatives not in attendance will call just as everyone sits down for dinner.    
• There will always be leftover green bean casserole.  
• The people who like canned cranberry sauce are the same people who like Chef Boyardee Pasta and Kraft cheese singles.
• The Detroit Lions are going to need an annual Presidential Pardon just like the turkey.  
• "More pie?" are the most sadistic two words you will ever hear on Thanksgiving.  
• When leaving for home, you will forget one of the following: 
  • To say goodbye to Grandma
  • Your serving dish
  • Your dignity
• Remarkably, turkey will still seem like a good idea just 24 hours later.

Here's hoping you all had as excellent a Thanksgiving as I did.